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RANKED – Halloween

One of the most well known franchises in all of horror, Halloween has had something of a rocky history on its way to resurgence with 2018’s fantastic reboot. There’s been a robot army spin-off, Busta Rhymes karate kicking Michael Myers through a window, hell the big man has even survived a run-in with the also never ageing Paul Rudd. Even in Michael’s worst outings (and there are more than a few) there is some fun to be had, and we’re taking a look back through the entire 40 plus year history of films. Now cue the Carpenter score and let’s begin.

12. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Universal Pictures, 1982

After an unsuccessful follow-up to the original behemoth, the creatives behind the Halloween franchise took a completely left turn for the third entry, leaving Michael Myers and the town of Haddonfield squarely in the rearview mirror. In its place we’re left with a strange sci-fi story involving cursed children’s Halloween masks that transform the wearers heads into pest infested pumpkins when a certain television commercial is aired. Now while that might sound like a “so bad it’s good” situation, the final result is anything but; an intensely boring, painfully slow sequel with little to keep you invested in a frustratingly uninspired mystery.

When her father is mysteriously killed in a hospital and the assailant sets himself alight, his daughter Ellie (Stacey Nelkin) teams up with doctor Daniel Challis (Tom Atkins) to investigate the circumstances of the death, leading them to the small Irish town of Santa Mira, home of mask manufacturer Silver Shamrock Novelties and its shadowy boss Conal Cochran (Dan O’Herlihy). It takes the film about half of its runtime to even get us to Santa Mira, wasting its time setting up an uncomfortable dynamic between Challis and his ex-wife (played by original Halloween actress Nancy Kyes), which the film feels allows him to be an unrestrained creep for the rest of the film, hitting on any woman that moves before ending up with Ellie, a romantic entanglement that has zero set-up. Michael Myers may not have impressed with his second outing, but even his victims corpses have more life in them than this mess

11. Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Dimension Films, 2002

A lot of the Halloween films feel dated now, after all the franchise began all the way back in 1978, but none show their age as much as the abysmal Resurrection, the premise of which revolves around a group of fame hungry people locked inside the abandoned Myers house and rigged with cameras in some awful spoof of the reality TV craze of the early 2000’s. Complete with Tyra Banks and Busta Rhymes. Also Busta Rhymes roundhouse kicks Michael (Brad Loree) through a window. This isn’t a joke.

What makes it all so much worse is the absolute cheat that is the marketing, with posters and trailers promising the return of Laurie Strode, only to see Jamie Lee Curtis’s iconic character dispatched within the first 10 minutes. None of the other characters manage to make any meaningful impact (apart from Busta of course) and Michael is once again neutered as a villain; seeing him strung upside down flailing for his life and kicked through windows takes the edge of a killer known for his immovable strength. Despite all this, the movie still manages to muster enough entertainingly awful moments to keep you from boredom, something that the objectively better made Season of the Witch lacks.

10. Halloween II (2009)

Dimension Films, 2009

If the first film was proof he could adapt the iconic original, then Rob Zombie’s second instalment is him completely let loose, full of over-the-top violence and a visually dirty palette. Picking up years after Michael’s (Tyler Mane) initial terrorising of Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton) – after a needlessly gory, elaborate 30 minute dream sequence – we find her struggling with survivors guilt, pushing away adopted father Sheriff Brackett (Brad Dourif) and sister Annie (Danielle Harris). We know she’s not doing well because Laurie spends most of her screen time inexplicably screaming whilst the camera violently shakes and her character has shifted so violently to allow her to hang around the disgusting characters Zombie favours so much because it plays into his wheelhouse.

So extreme is the shift that Halloween II feels like a sequel to one of Zombie’s other films like House of 1000 Corpses or The Devil’s Rejects with Michael simply shoehorned in as a murder machine. It’s the most needlessly violent film in the franchise by a mile, as he decapitates, stabs and eye gouges his way through a washed out, grey looking Haddonfield; a fugitive on the lam running into almost everyone in the county if it means Zombie can extract some more bloodshed. Then there’s the bizarre sub-plot of Michael’s mother (Sheri Moon Zombie) reappearing in dream sequences with a white horse to guide Michael to Laurie – a way for Zombie to keep working with his wife maybe? A dreadful sequel that is so utterly uninterested with furthering the Halloween franchise that the iconic score isn’t even used until the second half of the credits.

9. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

Magnum Pictures, 1989

A direct continuation of 1988’s Return of Michael Myers, Revenge picks up with a bullet-riddled Michael (Don Shanks) miraculously floating downriver and being taken in and nursed back to health by a kindly stranger… before promptly murdering him and resuming the hunt for Jamie (Daniella Harris), the now mute daughter of Laurie Strode. Jamie’s brutal murder of her stepmother at the end of the previous film is conveniently forgotten and with adopted sister Rachel’s (Ellie Cornell) early death ridding the film of any carried over emotional investment; the weight of the film collapses around her, with a terrible supporting cast providing little assistance.

Donald Pleasence is now a caricature of the ominous psychiatrist from the Carpenter helmed original, violently shaking the little girl and commanding she use her randomly acquired uncle-niece psychic connection to lead him to Michael so that he can end the evil once and for all. It’s a brief respite of unintentional levity amongst forgettable kills, godawful writing and a now boringly unstoppable Michael, who completes his transformation from escaped mental patient to full on Superman, happily shaking off bullets and explosions in his unquenchable bloodlust. The only thing that seems to put a stop to his onslaught? A simple latch that completely stumps poor Michael, prompting him to rip the entire door off in a fit of architecturally challenged rage. We’ve all been there.

8. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

Trancas International Films, 1988

Following the dismal Season of the Witch, Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) returned (see what I did there?) to Haddonfield in 1988 with a brand new mask and renewed bloodlust; the film wasting no time getting to the carnage as Michael’s demise at the hands of Loomis in Halloween II is quickly retconned and he breaks out of the sanitarium in suitably gruesome fashion. From here we follow Jamie (Daniella Harris) the daughter of the now (assumedly) dead Laurie Strode and her adopted sister Rachel (Ellie Cornell) as they attempt to navigate a typical Halloween of trick or treating and boy trouble before being alerted to Michael’s presence by the hilariously unhinged Loomis (Donald Pleasence).

While it starts strong, the film strangely chooses to constantly show Michael in awkward spots. Whether that be awkwardly scrambling onto a rooftop or bumbling, nothing takes the wind out of your spooky sails quite like watching a now middle-aged Michael catch his breath partway through a chase… until he rips a man’s throat clean out with one hand. The wacky tone continues right until the very last scene, with the young Jamie suddenly tapping into some dormant killer genes from her uncle, recreating young Michael’s first kill complete with bloody clown outfit, while a horrified Loomis looks on screaming “No!” for what you can only assume was well after the director yelled “Cut!”. Hilariously bad fun in all the ways that Season of the Witch should have been.

7. Halloween (2007)

Dimension Films, 2007

You don’t hire Rob Zombie for a carefully nuanced trip through Haddonfield. You hire him to deliver the bloodiest, grizzliest take on Michael Myers (Mane) to date; a film made to take you into the mind and world of Myers like none that had come before in the most disgusting, horrifying to watch way possible. And he delivers on that promise… eventually. So much of Zombie’s reimagining of Carpenter’s classic is spent explaining and that is its downfall. Audiences never needed to know why Michael was mute or learn about his horrifically abusive upbringing and terrible home life for him to be terrifying.

Yet Zombie seems obsessed with exploring every minor detail that could serve to give motivation to Myer’s killings; effectively making a sympathetic character out of him (to a degree); a victim of circumstance who finally succumbed to the darkness around him. It’s an admittedly interesting take on what exactly makes a psychopath tick, it just isn’t right for the character of Michael Myers. When it comes time to deliver on the “reboot” of it all and trace Michael’s hunt for Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton), Zombie has exhausted all of the new he wants to bring to the table, producing an incredibly dull second half that devolves into repetitive hide-and-seek antics with the odd gory kill here and there. All meaningless when we don’t know or care at all about Laurie or her friends.

6. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

Miramax, 1995

The end of the “Thorn Trilogy” The Curse of Michael Myers is a curious entry in the Halloween cannon. Things certainly get off to a good start, establishing Laurie Strode’s babysitting charge from the original film Tommy Doyle as the protagonist (played by a young Paul Rudd in one of his first roles), haunted by his experience and obsessed with discovering what drives Michael’s (Wilbur) bloodlust. He is soon drawn back into the nightmare when he discovers the abandoned newborn child of Jamie (J.C. Brandy), who has escaped from the strange cult that have held her captive for 6 years only to meet her own gruesome end. Teaming up with a now retired Loomis (Pleasence in his last outing), the pair race to protect the last of the Myer’s bloodline from Michael’s wrath: Laurie’s adopted cousin Kara (Marianne Hagan) and her son Danny (Devin Gardner).

For every step the film takes towards restoring the franchise to the height of the original – the small town setting, Michael’s slow burn stalking, Alan Howarth’s renewed use of Carpenter’s score – it also takes one back by doing what every good sequel does: completely ruining the fun through over-explanation. Michael’s motivations go from a deranged killer to a demonically possessed conduit of literal evil who was selected as a child by the same cult that has kidnapped Jamie. There are gross indications that Jamie’s kid might be Michael’s (the franchise was always missing the fun of incest), a bizarre subplot to have Loomis take over the role as leader of the cult and Danny’s unexplained psychic chats with a demon, but thanks to Paul Rudd and Pleasence’s toned down performance it manages to be more memorable than the previous two entries. Far easier to enjoy now knowing that the trilogy was wiped from the timeline with the release of H20: no harm done.

5. Halloween II (1981)

Universal Pictures, 1981

How do you improve upon a genre-defining classic like the original Halloween? Well, in Halloween II’s case the answer seems to be “more of the same”, as Michael (Dick Warlock) is revealed to have survived the events of the first film, hellbent on finishing off the only survivor: Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis). Despite Carpenter’s continued involvement (he returned to co-write the script and co-compose the score), you feel his lack of direction in almost every scene; none of the tension of the original stalkings returns, replaced by cheap jump scares and a higher body count of utterly undeveloped fodder characters.

The shift in location to the local hospital does admittedly provide for some interesting variations on Michael’s usual methods – a nonsensical scalding hot hospital tub and a slow-burn syringe stabbing being two particular highlights – but having this titan of horror fooled by the sound of gas leaking is a unique way to completely neuter your killer in only his second appearance (in addition to inexplicably making him Laurie’s long-lost brother). Thankfully there is some fun to be found thanks to a gleefully deranged performance by Donald Pleasence as psychiatrist Sam Loomis; shouting completely serious nonsense like “You don’t know what death is” and somehow managing to maintain a straight face. Kudos also to Jamie Lee Curtis’ shift in portraying Laurie Strode, ridden with PTSD after her traumatic first run-in with Michael and unable to do much for majority of the film, it is nonetheless a great performance that, in a film full of brash hilarity, feels like a genuine response to the events unfolding.

4. Halloween Kills (2021)

Blumhouse Productions, 2021

Picking up right where things left off in 2018, Halloween Kills continues the story of Laurie (Curtis) – now bed-ridden in hospital – and her daughter (Judy Greer) and granddaughter (Andi Matichak) as they regroup to take on Michael (James Jude Courtney) after learning of his survival. The story expands to the other survivors of the 1978 attack, widening the circle of heroes to include Anthony Michael Hall’s Tommy Doyle among others as the town mobilises to protect themselves, risking their own humanity in the process. Meanwhile the man himself is carving a bloody path through Haddonfield towards a climactic showdown with enemies new and old.

Halloween Kills suffers from being the middle instalment in a planned trilogy, with less development and significantly lower stakes than its 2018 predecessor. Nevertheless the film more than lives up to its name by crafting some of the goriest, most intense kills in the franchise, delivered by a Michael Myers who has now begun to transcend into un-killable, more-than-human territory. There are interesting strides made on the story-side of things too, as writer-director David Gordon Green subverts expectations and suggests that Michael’s rampage might not actually be tied to Laurie (a breath of fresh air for a franchise historically obsessed with their connection) but it ultimately feels incomplete without the final film to tie everything together; a gruesome piece of filler on the way to a (hopefully) more satisfying conclusion.

3. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

Dimension Films, 1998

The combination of Jamie Lee Curtis’ return and the recent success of fellow slasher Scream proved the shot in the arm Halloween needed so desperately needed to revitalise itself, discarding films 3-6 and picking up 20 years following the “death” of Michael (Chris Durand) in the hospital (cleverly conveyed through the reuse of that film’s anthem “Mr. Sandman”). Laurie (Curtis), now headmistress of a private school and living under the name Keri Tate, has been permanently scarred by the events of 1978, leading her to become an overprotective mother to rebellious teenage son John (Josh Hartnett). When Michael returns for revenge on his sister and nephew, Laurie must finally confront the demon from her past once and for all.

The influence from Scream is immediately felt through the Drew Barrymore-esque appearance of Joseph Gordon-Levitt – who is promptly murdered with an ice skate – but extends to the constantly quipping cast of friends that John surrounds himself with and the frequent meta references to the franchise’s history. Along with the (mostly) inventive kills it makes for an incredibly fun return to the story of the Strode’s, free of the complicated lore of earlier entries and with a great performance (as usual) from Curtis, who brings new layers to a more forceful portrayal of Laurie: a final girl turned final woman for the ages.

2. Halloween (2018)

Blumhouse Productions, 2018

Of all the Halloween sequels, David Gordon Green’s soft reboot/sequel is the only one to recapture the tone and characters while creating genuine fear towards Michael Myers (Courtney). So it’s a good thing then that the story ignores all the sequels and reboots, taking place 40 years after the original and focusing on Laurie (Curtis), her daughter Karen (Judy Greer) and granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak). There’s endless dramatic tension and emotional depth to be mined from the complicated relationship between these three women, all affected by the actions of Michael in different ways and at odds with one another about how best to move forward. It feels truly great again to have Curtis back in the lead, and although we’ve seen her tackle the PTSD ridden survivor Laurie before, this time it feels more genuine; a fascinating and relevant story of a woman taking back her life.

As for Michael, he is as terrifying as ever and Green wisely utilises a slow burn approach to build that fear back up, focusing on the legacy of the man and the carnage he carried out in 1978. When the kills do start flowing, they are suitably gruesome (without the needless gore of the Rob Zombie films) and effective in conveying the pure strength and immovability of this murder machine – no stumbling, bumbling Michael here, he is all business. Carpenter’s return to the score also lends a huge helping hand in revitalising the franchise; delivering a revamped version of his iconic theme that is familiar but feels darker and heavier, perhaps indicative of the hatred bubbling away in Laurie for all these years. A perfect start to a new chapter in Michael’s history.

1. Halloween (1978)

Compass International Pictures, 1978

Was there any doubt? Just about every aspect of John Carpenter’s Halloween cements it as a cinematic horror classic, from the introduction of Michael Myers (Tony Moran) and ultimate scream-queen Jamie Lee Curtis to the instantly recognisable score from Carpenter himself. Laurie Strode’s (Curtis) first encounter with evil itself is still the franchises’ high point, revolutionary in its chilling depiction of Myer’s relentless stalking which boils over into a bloodbath. Opting for a less is more approach, Carpenter rarely allows Michael to be seen, utilising shadows and other obstacles to obscure him and create the constant sense of dread that he could be lingering. One minute Laurie spots him ogling her from afar, when she looks back he is gone.

The only insight we get into the killer himself comes from a horrific point-of-view sequence that puts us in the shoes of a young Michael during his first murder, an inventive sequence that pulls the rug out under the audience by revealing the killer to be a fresh-faced six year-old Michael. Sure, there are gorier and more intense slashers that have released since, but Halloween is the defining titan, popularising the genre and providing the blueprint for everything from A Nightmare on Elm Street to Friday the 13th.